Raising children is the most important job I will ever have. I’m not being cliche ~ at 18 years and counting its the God’s honest truth. Doing this well is harder than I could have ever imagined. And if I’m really honest with myself, raising children is hard because it requires constant self discipline, self control, sacrifice, and the willingness to walk through anything life throws you. Truth is, I’m incredibly human, making my fair share of mistakes, worrying about so many aspects of raising children in 3 very different stages while I put one foot in front of the other with each new day.
With a new school year just around the corner, our summer is winding down and I’m making the most of my reading time to get ready for a season of change. I just finished Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World by Jill Rigby and loved it. Ms. Rigby is a character education and parenting expert working with kids, teachers, and parents alike. I found her advice about raising children spot on, a wake up call to today’s parents to look in the mirror and face the music. With the basic premise that this generation of parents has traded the practice of raising children with self respect instead to pursuing the goal of building self esteem. The result of following that popular parenting advice is a generation of children who have lost their way, their manners, and their morals too. But they never even knew they were out there to grab hold of.
Raising Children ~ Its Not About the Kids
While you might not like the message, the book is squarely focused on charging parents to take a very in depth look at their parenting choices so they can find their way back to raising children who are respectful. The chapters naturally lead you through this process starting with a look at what where we are and how we got here and then moving through key strategies parents need to deploy at every stage of raising children.
- Stress Purpose, Not Performance
- Coach; Don’t Cheerlead
- Set Boundaries Without Building Walls
- Use Discipline, Not Punishment
- Shield Your Treasures from the Trash
- Engage Don’t Entertain
- Tech Gratefulness, Not Greediness
- Listen to the Children
Raising Children ~ It Calls On Your Faith
When it matters most, key chapters break the parenting topic and its advice into age groups from Tot and Tyke Years all the way to Teen Rules. Full of examples of the challenge at hand and solutions broken down in easy to digest bullet point lists, I found myself able to identify places where I need to make changes today as a result of choices I made when our children were younger that may have set certain dynamics into motion. And I found the interjection of a biblical foundation personally very encouraging. I’ve always felt more old fashioned in my parenting values, finding the common sense wisdom of parenting experts like John Rosemond a breath of fresh air in a time when all too often, parents seem to choose what’s easy instead of what’s right. And my Bible is well worn when it comes to scripture that eases my worrying heart.
Ms. Rigby’s book is a playbook for the long haul, showing you how parenting your child is a series of steps and building blocks to get you both the finish line. Her School of Respect makes it crystal clear that parents are in fact in charge of this journey. Each stage has both a goal and training and when executed well, are the natural building blocks that lead your child’s way. Tots need to learn routines to they can learn trust. Tykes need to feel recognized so they can learn to be secure. Tweens need to test relationships so they can learn obedience. And teens need to be given increasing responsibility so they can learn self-respect.
Raising Children ~ It Can Be Done Well
So what about parents? Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World puts the responsibility entirely in parents hands to both delight in the joys of parenthood while making no mistake about doing what’s right instead of what’s easy. Rigid? No. Structured with all kinds of support for taking the parenting road so often less travelled today and knowing that its okay? Absolutely. As you get ready for the school year and all the influences new classmates, teachers, bus routes, teammates, and even schools can have, take some time to read Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World. You’ll have all the support you need to keep your children and family on track.
Where do you turn for parenting advice to keep you focused on what’s right for your family even when its hard for your heart?
Thanks so much for stopping by ~ we’ll see you next time!
Disclosure: Thanks to Howard Publishing of Simon & Schuster for reaching out to me with a complimentary copy of this book at just the right time of year. As always, my choice to post and opinions are entirely my own.